good night.

last night was awesome as it should have been. it was i am the
avalanche so it was business as usual. the sleeping was amazing
although i just had no energy. i have been lacking in the energy
department lately. i did get vin's sn though, sorta my crowning
achievment. fun.

lately i haven't really had the opportunity to do anything computer related but it is alright because this next upcoming week i my last in long island. i will then officially be a resident of brooklyn.

i am currently sitting in the kitchen of said brooklyn apartment and i just got finished checking a long list of email, rss feeds, and making what seems to be a "new" myspace account. i have to move a bunch of boxes from the "currently full of boxes" living room into the only empty room of the place (at least for the time being).

people, check out:

www.penny-arcade.com
www.alienhominid.com
www.baysideisacult.com
www.virb.com

hi

hii
--nate.avalanche

is it possible that things are getting better (knock on wood0

let's not get me wrong here i am am not what one would call a pessimistic person. on the contrary, i am quite the ever-loving optimist. the is true to the "t" in pessimist seeing as i had to spell check the word. there is no need to beat around the bush on this one. finally, after all is said and done, i will be living with my soon to be wife. days have been filled with work and nights with cartoons and video game desires. whenever i write in a blog i never know what to put there because it is usually that i have nothing left to vent because i have usually done so with a human being. i suppose i am one that takes a more conventional methodology to things. i do not know how i would rely on internet advice. these entries are never made with the intention of any response or solution to those problems that truly end of worthy of a blog entry. i suppose if i were deaf or mute, with no offense intended to either party, i would look at this ability to type as a blessing. the only useful purpose for this keyboard it for writing, that of which i scarcely do. shed a tear for my apparent lack of motivation. i suppose that i do use these keys to engage in real-time internet chats with my all-to-scene bad self. go figure that one out. but yet again, i digress, that i use my ultra-hip mobile device for that also (albeit rarely also). am i too disconnected from others? no though i hardly use my cell phone other than to speak with the best friend or wife. and when i move in with her...who knows. prepaid here i come. i am way too techno-saavy to let myself not own the most recent hot device. two year service plans here we go! let's put this entry in perspective: my xbox is in the shop, so to speak; i have pissed cindy off; the entry is due. i better go before i don't find something better to do with my time.

simple words and long stories

i always hope to be writing something because it is the only true thing that i can imagine that i will continue doing for as long as possible. this can be looked at a yearly wrap-up or a post in a blog that won't receive more than five posts. i haven't been able to keep up with one or been able to keep writing for a long enough period of time to satisfy my nostalgia. livejournal, hiplog, .mac, all done, deleted or just abandoned. i feel as though i have all of the greatest hopes for my writing but i am left with nothing to write about. there is no passion in anything that i write. but i have an idea...a potentially abandoned one already, but it is an idea nonetheless. i want to finally write about all of my insecurities, all of my life experiences, my real dreams and my constant potential to fuck up anything good that i have. i haven't decided how exactly to go about that but i just hope it flows instead of feeling forced but like everything else...ahh i don't know. today isn't just a day of motivation, it's crap. my life is so up in the air. i am really sick of having no control of myself and there is probably so much more i can be doing for myself. i work at starbucks and i know that i want to advance in the company and i know that i will. that is not enough for me. i am going to live with my girlfriend and eventually have her be my wife. i living at my best friend's parents expense right now and then i will be living at my girlfriend's expense because right now my job pays shit. sometimes i think i would be happier alone and at no one's expense. this is a constant problem with my mental state. and today i got sick of everything. i got sick of reading, i got sick of games, i just am sick of myself. i feel so self-pitying and craptacular. wooohhoooo. horray for shite.