the need to get back on track.

i am thinking about how well i used to be able to write or how well i used to think i could write. now though, the only practice i get is silly blogging. i look at what i write and find that it is so stagnant, stuttered and just generally bad. i want to return to the flow and style that i had. i did force a style on myself but i just have never known how to find my own niche. this is the hundreth time i have written or spoken about this and after the rant i always tell myself that i am going to write more often. what spurred it this time is that i want to write for a gaming website or a public gaming blog. i want to share my passions with people but i can never just find a way. this was the first time that i actually contacted someone about it and although i have not received any response yet i feel that as long as i keep putting myself out there i will get the response that i am looking for. i am not even looking to be paid for it but i want the day to day experience. i will get it as long as i want it. i love gaming too much to not get a response.

honestly, at this point, i am getting quite sick.

my yankees are doing quite awful and i cannot even bring myself to watch them right now because i want to cry. i guess this is the curse one gets stuck with liking a normally winning dynasty. i watched andy pettite pitch tonight until he looked like he was about ready to cry. he fell apart in the 5th inning and i don't even know how the game turned out. i think i need to start playing mlb 2k7 just so i can have them win. dear yankees it is now okay for you guys to start winning.

after birthday experiences.

so things have been on a roller coaster lately. i have only one particularly low low but other than that it has been a fun ride. so, the day after my birthday was filled with foodshopping, seeing brand new, missing manchester orchestra :'-(, asking andy hull to play our wedding, him saying almost definitely, seeing geoff rickley, and being the only guy hanging out. yesterday was alright aside from the one majoe hiccup. a girl i work with had me so ticked off that i saw red and that is the only thing that needs to be said about that. i still have my job and everything and everything is in the process of being worked out. today was good and i saw cindy for lunch, i got my new slvr and i am on my way to pick her up. this is more of just an update than any new thoughts or intuition. sorry for my drab life? comments are open so leave them i like to know i'm loved.