Monday, June 1, 2009

Monday MUpdate: E3 Bound

Well, the big event is here. Video gamers all across the land huddle around their monitors, refreshing and refreshing their favorites to see more and more news come in from the conference; each site wanting to be the first to break whatever news is unveiled. And in the center of it all stands one man. One man unafraid of the lines. One man unafraid of the crowds. One man who has no credentials but is there anyway, kicking ass and taking names/notes. Who is our lone warrior, our traveler of the unknown? Me. Duh.

So while today I sit in my office anxiously twiddling my thumbs, tomorrow I will find myself on a plane flying non-stop to Los Angeles, California, in order to attend E3. I feel like part of me should say that I'm the official representative of Best GamePad Ever, and while the reality may be that I'll be wearing FOX Media badges all day, I'll still try and slip that in there into casual conversation. While originally Nate was going to attend with me, due to unforeseen circumstances this is no longer the case. This means that I will have to do the work of two men instead of one. So on that note, I would like to inform you, the gentle reader, of how I plan to keep this website updated: I have sold out and created for myself a Twitter account. I felt that this was the best way to get my word out there. I created the account last week and have been trying to get into the habit of using it, updating after I see a movie or when I see something funny out and about. While for some reason my TwitPic account decides to update Twitter on it's own, off and on as opposed to just on, and my profile won't update to say that I'm actually not following Penn Jilette (as amazing as he is), it's there and you can follow it here. I suppose I should apologize to my friends who follow my Twitter because they love me and not my E3 experience (they will be bombarded with random tweets of "just played mass effect 2 - super sweet," "just played brutal legend - super sweet," and "just played another game - super sweet," although I can only I hope I remember to capitalize). I, of course, will not be able to read any reply tweets or tweets reading "@mattisnotarobot One more tweet about video games and I'm de-following you," so this is my official warning to anyone uninterested. I won't be offended.

So some of you might be asking, what exactly is my schedule? What will I be doing at E3? What makes this trip unlike all other trips? And how many aisles must a game reviewer walk down before you can call him a game reviewer? Well, while the answer to that last question may be blowing in the wind, I can enlighten the rest of the world with my adventure outline. It'll basically be like any tweet or blog you could read about me, but you're reading it before it happens and thusly can infer all the things that could go wrong or right from that point, kind of like a make your own adventure story, except in this you could kill me out of jealousy and I would be powerless to stop you.

Tuesday - Matt goes to LA: On Tuesday, I have an 8:00 AM flight, so I'll be up at 4:00 AM in order to make sure I can wake up, get up, and get out of the house by 5:00 AM so I can be at the airport around 6:00 AM. From there I can only hope that all the information I just printed out of my work printer will somehow get me my ticket and passed security. I have a non-stop flight to LA due to arrive at 11:40 AM, at which point I will be luxuriously transported to my swanky Sheraton Hotel to check in. From that point I have the whole day to do whatever I want in LA which is why I took such an early flight. I can't imagine the next time I'll be in California, so if I'm going to stalk Arnold, now's my chance.

Wednesday - Matt goes to E3: At 9:30 AM I will be at the convention center, getting my badges and passes with my travel companion so that by 10:00 AM I can be out on the show floor. At some point, I have to play Halo: ODST, and by "have to" I don't mean that I want to as a gamer but that I am contractually obligated by IGN and FOX Media to play this game. I then will be writing a review/preview around 1:00 PM (after lunch basically) to be posted on at their E3 subsite ( When I finish doing that, I get to go back to the show floor to play games and do whatever until 5:00 PM. I will do my best not to spend my entire time at the Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2 booth and to be a good "reporter," but most likely the child in me will take over and my Halo: ODST review will not read "The graphical accomplishments in this five minute preview by the Bungie crew is really rather outstanding, improving upon the previous Halo graphics engine to create a much sharper and fresh gaming experience," but instead will read "OMG IT LOOKS WICKED SWEET." At 5:00 PM, my travel companion and I will be escorted to the IGN War Room to be on the IGN podcast, GameScoop. After that I am treated to VIP passes at an IGN Party at a much nicer hotel then the one I was put up in, and then I am left to my own devices from there. Also, at some point a website called Crispy Gamer would like to interview me, for reasons unknown. I will do my best to comply however, mostly due to the fact that I am vain.

Thursday - Matt goes home: Lastly, on Thursday I will be in LA until 3:30 PM-ish, at which point I will fly into the future to arrive back in my home town at midnight. On the plane, I need to write a one page article recap of E3 in which I tell about all the lessons in life I've learned, as well as providing an easy to understand anecdote as to moral of the day. Because you see, I've learned something today...

So there you have it. This is what my week will entail as I miss work and don't get paid due to a complete lack of any vacation hours. I'm rather excited to do this, and I've got my copy of The Flash: Emergency Stop and Nintendo DS all ready to go for a 6 hour flight. I can only hope that this trip is as entertaining as it promises to be, and I hope to be a good provider of information upon next week's Monday MUpdate on the true world behind the veil of E3. I'll get right down to the gritty stuff and talk about how many dead booth babes I come across in gutters, as well as a full list of all the secret codes people use to transport black market copies of games under the table. I also wish that I could get my own little Sack Boy, but I understand that unlike all my other wants, that one is probably just wishful thinking.

If there's anything you'd like me to do/find/prove at E3, feel free to let me know in the comments. I'm more than happy to oblige. And again, feel free to follow my escapades at for any quirky commentary I may have.

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